3 Days and counting!

Good morning.  Only 3 days left until the Xmas...  and MAN this is a crazy time of year.  Stress can often times rear it's ugly head, but we can all CHOOSE not to let it get to us.

Every year, I panic.  It usually begins with the idea of gifts.  I can't STAND shopping for others, as I never know what to get.  This usually turns into worry, as I consider whether or not they are going to like what I get.  I play the game of "who got *ME* a gift?", as I'll "have" to get them one, so they won't feel left out... and the cycle of stress, annoyance, and panic begins.  

Once the list has been comprised, I worry about whether or not I'm going to have enough money to pay for all these things.  This usually involves cutting other expenses, so that others are satisfied, and putting my mental sanity on hold for a bit.


We have to stop, and realize that 'worry' can only manifest itself, if we live in the future. The future is not here yet, so worry serves us no purpose.  Stop, breath, and live in the present.  

Does anyone share custody of a child?  I do.  Time sharing usually involves the parents, step-parents, multiple sets of grandparents, aunts, uncles, and everyone else that wants to see your child over the holidays.  We have to co-ordinate dinners, time spent with whom, and hoping that it all fits into a neat package that we can all agree upon.

Exhausting isn't it?  Well it doesn't have to be.

This year I have made a couple of adjustments to the whole scheme.  Under my brothers advisement: "I don't want anything this year, and I'm not buying anything this year."  

Pretty simple stuff, but kind of hard to swallow at first.  Your egoistic mind is going to want to convince you that you are being selfish.  Your mind will begin to work, and you will second guess whether or not this is a good idea.  Which will add to the current stress you are facing.  Try to remember... You are NOT responsible for others feelings, and have no bearing on them at all.  Should you choose to go this route, be proud of your decision, and embrace it.

A fellow blogger by the name of Leo Babauta, wrote a wonderful piece entitled "The Case Against Buying Christmas Presents"  Feel free to check it out!  LOTS of good stuff in there.  

The following, are a few of my own tips for other single parents out there that might find it rough around the holidays.

• Consider that the holidays, and gift giving is for the kids.  If you must make certain purchases, try and limit them to the children.  
• Employ a monetary cap of sorts, and STICK to it.  There is absolutely NO need to break the bank.  
• Focus on why you are giving.  If it is to impress the party in question, maybe you are "giving" for the wrong reason(s).
• Make gifts, bake goodies, and put a little more of a personal touch into things.  Thoughts and effort trump gift cards ever time.

The holidays should be a time of relaxation.  A time spent with family, friends, and loved ones.  A time, where stress should not dictate, nor control your emotional being.  

Remember WHY we give what we give... sit back, drink some egg nog, and be merry...

Until next time.

Matt